There is an alternative rock bank from California that I like a lot called Cake. They are noted for their songs being composed of sarcastic lyrics with a wide-range of musical influences that include rock, funk, hip hop, country music, Iranian folk music, and even some Mariachi.

One of their best songs (in my opinion) is called “When You Sleep” and the beginning lyrics go like this:

When you sleep, where do your fingers go?

What do your fingers know

What do your fingers show

Where do your fingers go

In group therapy, I recently adopted a new ritual of presenting the group with one meaningful question to reflect on and then share as a way to break up the monotony and build cohesion. The result has been amazing in that this simple exercise has allowed the group participants to be more introspective and open, while simultaneously learning more about themselves.

The question for group this week was “Where do your Thoughts go?”

My intention for asking this question was to help them acknowledge and become more aware of the thoughts that take up space in their heads and keep them from living in the moment (being more mindful).

I had to explain further to one person in the group who stated that his thoughts were always different. I agreed with him before explaining that yes, we may have all kinds of different thoughts depending on situations that arise each day, but that for almost all of us, there is a tendency for our thoughts to regularly stick to 3 to 5 common themes.

The answers shared were very telling of how much we as people are much more alike than we think. Here are a few I thought worth the share:

“My thoughts go to: my mother who is lonely, my father who hasn’t spoken to me in 7 years, my daughter who lives far away from me, my ex-wife’s instability and if she will ever be able to raise our kids properly, finances, finding love again, if I have enough to pay the bills, my husband cheating on me, the land I want to own some day, the house I want to build, the death of someone I loved very much, my business and how I can make it grow, making my dreams come true, moving to Hawaii someday.”