photo by Shaina Kasanoff
Whenever one of my sessions leads us into a meditation exercise where I am encouraging a client to close their eyes and go inward, the outcome when we open our eyes and return to the room sounds something like this:
'That was relaxing' or 'Wow, I just noticed how stressed I am' or 'I feel much more calm'
It's interesting for me to imagine my life where the only time I close my eyes is when I am ready to fall asleep.
This begs the question of: Do most people only stop to relax when their head hits the pillow?
This thought leads me into a web of curiosity where my mind ponders things like:
How do people really know themselves if they never spend a quiet moment in silence and stillness?
When do people truly connect with their inner most self (higher self) if they never stop to check in?
Why is it so hard for people to stop moving, thinking, doing?
The truth is that after years of working with people in an up close and personal way, I've learned that the majority of us struggle with anxiety that manifests in these ways:
planning
self-criticizing
judging
feeling angry
controlling by trying to guarantee an outcome
spending time in our head asking 'what if' questions
The Root of Anxiety is the emotion of Fear.
The more we resist being alone in (and with) our self, with our own thoughts and emotions, the greater the fear will grow and persist. This then becomes an emotional pattern that we become accustomed to, not necessarily comfortable with (see image below).
What if I told you that the only way to dissolve the Fear is to sit with it?
Think about something that you do now in your life that gets you into the present moment.
For me, this is meditation, a bike ride, drawing, coloring, writing, mindful walking, admiring nature, hugging a tree, rubbing my cat’s belly, cooking, seeing, touching, smelling, and tasting my food, massaging my body with oil, laying down in the grass, staring up at the clouds. I could go on and on…
This can be any activity that requires your focused attention, however, does not necessarily involve staring at a screen. When we are on screens, we are focused on what we are looking at, however, this does not mean that we are actually in the moment. Quite the contrary, we are escaping reality to feel disconnected from the here and now...the actual moment.
Now, see if you can close your eyes for a few moments. Check in. What do you feel?
This could be the most important moment of your day.
