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What Emotional Neglect is NOT…
Being Present and Giving Attention because this is True Love.
Towards Self
Give attention to your feelings.
Make sure you get your needs met.
Talk about a situation that is causing you strife or confusion.
Be true to yourself (even when it requires you to make a difficult decision).
Care about how you feel just as much as you care about others feelings.
Show yourself compassion even when you feel shame or regret for a choice you've made.
Cry when you feel sad or hopeless.
Listen to yourself.
Teach people how to treat you by demonstrating how you treat you with love and respect.
Comfort yourself in moments of fear or anxiety.
Lift yourself up by taking an action that will ease your pain or sorrow.
Towards Others
Give attention to another person's feelings when it is clear they need to be felt by you.
Do your best to meet the needs of those you love and care about.
Talk through a situation, particularly when you notice that someone feels hurt (it doesn't matter if you think you're in the right or not).
Be your authentic self with others.
Care about others feelings by taking actions that show you care (a phone call, a text, a visit, an invitation, a pat on the back, a hug, a kiss, send a card, write a letter, give a gift).
Show others compassion by listening to them and putting yourself in their shoes (pride and aloofness create disconnect).
Allow for someone to cry in front of you if they need to and when they are finished, give them an embrace or a gentle touch.
Listen to people by giving them attention with your eyes, ears, and your heart.
Ask others questions about themselves or their experiences and be interested in what they have to say.
Comfort the people you love and care about by being present for them.
Let’s Talk Kids
Emotional Neglect has the capacity to damage a child's self esteem and self worth. As children we need to be seen, heard, and felt by the people who brought us into the world. Many people have children without thinking about what it truly requires to raise a whole, healthy and confident human being.
If you know that you don't have the physical, mental or emotional energy to be present for and give attention to a child perhaps having children is not really something you want to do in your life.
I write this for all of the children in the world now and for all of the adults in the world who were once children. Every human being deserves to be seen, heard, and have their feelings validated especially in a moment of suffering and through the challenging phases of growth. Life is beautiful and also very hard.
Parents - Please teach your children that their feelings matter and that you care to know how they feel by talking openly about your own feelings and modeling to them that having feelings is a natural part of being alive. Allow them the space to know and understand that emotions are not something to be ashamed of.
People – Let's celebrate when feelings are shared! You may find that in your relationships, there will be more sharing, more connecting, increased confidence, a stronger sense of belonging and a deeper love experienced among all.
Feelings are just as important as Thoughts. Let’s Celebrate that we can feel and let’s not be afraid to talk about them!