bleeding tree - Oregon - 2019
Staring at his reflection, his face was vividly engraved in the tree I layed down next to.
Looking at me as though saying 'you are not alone. I am here with you. I will protect you.'
It had been a long week of exploration, adventure, exhaustion, connection, regression, and progression.
This would be our last night in the wilderness only this time, we were told to sleep on our own with only the comfort of our sleeping bag, cozy socks, whatever warm clothes we had, and our flash light to keep us company and use for protection if needed.
Being the scaredy cat that I am, I initially felt terrified by the idea of sleeping alone out in nature on a mountaintop. No tent, just me with the ground, where anything could cause me discomfort or harm. For starters, I've never been tough for cold temperatures. I'm a Texas girl with South American blood.
On other nights, I relied on sleeping close to my friends/peers for safety and body warmth. And what if an animal decided to attack me in the middle of the night or even worse, eat me!
Being alone on this final night of bravery felt like a test of my strength and courage to fight through fear. More than anything, it was a test of my faith to believe that I was ok, that I would be ok, and that I would be protected by something. By God, Mother Nature, the Universe, an All Knowing Force. Well, it turned out I was being protected by Jesus himself.
He somehow managed to transform his image into the trunk of this sturdy, magnificent tree and allowed me to see him. Not only that, he inspired me to feel his gentle presence and love in a surprising, profound way.
As my tense body relaxed, my heart slowed down, my eyes grew heavy and breath by breath, I eased into letting go enough to trust him fully with my survival, my life.
Something deep inside me knew I was safe and sound. I would rest. My eyes fixed on his reflection in the bark of the tree standing firm and wise next to me.
* this is about my experience on a wilderness trip with Young Life the summer after my junior year of high school in 1994. A time in my life that forever changed me and my relationship with nature and God.
** tree shown here is from a camping tree last year where I again felt deeply connected with a tree, only this particular tree seems to reveal the image of woman with bright eyes and beautiful eyelashes. Can you see her?