There’s been so much stirring up inside of me this Fall. It’s been a season of great teachings that my heart longs to share with you.
Here’s the breakdown - Life and Grief are one in the same.
Think about it: Everything ends. Change is inevitable. People come and go. With every beginning, there is an end to something else. Each new season equates the death of the season before it.
In our 20’s, we grieve our teenage years. In our 30’s, we grieve our 20’s. In our 40’s, we grieve our 30’s and so on. It’s impossible to live and not feel a sense of loss of what was, who we were back then, the people we felt close to at one time.
The earth experiences birth, life and death over and over again as it rotates around the sun.
I’ve been pondering this question that came to me during one of my sessions with a client. I asked her, ‘Will you be a swirling leaf that gets blown in every direction the wind takes you or Will you be a tree that roots down into the ground with confidence that this is where you want to be and where you belong?’
The answer I came up with for myself is that for the most part I want to be a tree. Rooted in who I know I am, grounded by my beliefs, my values, and what my heart chooses to live in service of.
But on this tree, I grow leaves that are a big part of my make up. Leaves that follow the cycle of life - Sprout, grow, exist, and eventually fall off to experience a slow death of being carried by wind and rain until one day I finally dry up, crumble into tiny pieces and blow away. Never to be seen again.
What I’m saying is that we are both the tree and the leaf. The currents of life, the energy flow will largely determine when we feel like a tree or when we feel like a swirling leaf. And knowing this, can help on those days, periods of time, phases in which we feel disconnected, unstable, fluttery, out of control or lost.
Remembering that even when we feel lost or we feel heartbroken because of an actual loss, our grief teaches us to strengthen the muscle of courage that we all have inside of us. The more we practice courage, the easier it becomes. Courage is an act from the heart. Coeur meaning heart in French.
If I am both a tree and a leaf, then I can TRUST, I can LET GO, I can FALL. There is NO FEAR because I know that the pain of the loss is temporary. It will come and go in waves just like everything else in life.
As a tree, I will grow new leaves. What I have lost will be regained in a new and different way according to what I need in each new season of my existence. I will rely on the fact that I am an ever-changing process. Grief will not destroy me. It will teach me. It will grow me. It will change me and transform me into my highest, wisest self.
There are always two sides to the coin just as there is always many ways to perceive reality. This Fall season I have learned that Grief is two things:
Gut OR Glory
wRenching Recovery
Internal Inside
Existential Evolved
Fear Free
How will you choose to relate with your Grief?
What will you allow Grief to teach you in this season of change and letting go?
Honor the days you feel grounded like a tree- Certain and Steady.
Honor the days you feel like a swirling leaf- Uncertain and Lost.
Both of these experiences result in the same - Birth, Life, and Death.
