How often do people use cell phones as a way to connect with others in order to stay disconnected from their own feelings, thoughts, and ultimately their minds? Frequently, I hear people say that they don't want to be left alone with their own mind. The key word is alone (with thoughts). Thoughts are such a funny thing. That's exactly what they are...things. And yet we give them the power to control us in ways that make us feel discomfort, inadequacy, and fear.
Recently I heard that young girls are getting water proof cell phones so that they can text in the shower. I don't know about you, but I often do some of my best thinking in the shower. Sometimes I think to give gratitude for the day, sometimes I plan out my day, and lately, I've been practicing mindful showering. This is where you try to simply focus on the present moment and what is going on while you shower for instance: the way your hands feel as they massage your scalp, the way the water feels against your skin or how your hands feel as they wash and cleanse your body.
People that come to see me for counseling, to be heard, seem to feel safer talking about what goes on in their minds because they aren't alone. I often feel that my job is not only to help others get to feeling closer to the better version of themselves, but to also be mindfully present for what they so desperately need to share. Many times what they need to share is their core self that's clouded, fogged, distracted, anxious or confused by feelings that cause them to think 'things' which perturb their state of mind.
Be Here Now is a mantra that I've adopted most recently. Maybe it's because of the dedication I've been giving to practicing mindfulness in the last 6 years. The act of trying to stay mindful of what is going on in each moment. Whether I like it or not. It's what IS happening so I might as well accept and try to enjoy regardless of what my mind is telling me that I am lacking or that I have to have in order feel happy and calm.
This road of mind, (I mean mine) has led me to this place where my mind is no longer my enemy, it's my ally. I've learned to tame this soft and smooshy, delicate organ that once felt like a beast inside of me. It controlled my feelings, my actions, my perspective on life in a way that I was often times NOT comfortable with.
The beauty of this journey is that now I understand that the beast (the mind) is not a beast at all. The mind is simply a part of me that had to witness things during my most innocent childhood years; it witnessed moments and experiences that I didn't ask for. When I didn't know how to tame my mind, I felt lost and ridden with anxiety. This is what led me to seek a more mindful way of life. What I've learned is that mindfulness practices lead to mindful living which directly calms the mind and guides the core self to feeling more peace, awareness, and acceptance of what IS - the here and the now.
The ingredients to love are openness, curiosity, and acceptance. If love is what we all want to feel, then maybe we should start with mindfully practicing these 3 things with our own minds so that we are able to truly embrace this part of us without feeling afraid of it. For me, mindfulness is the sure way to begin embracing and loving your own mind. It is the way to being connected with your mind rather than running from it.
I invite you to put your phone down, close your eyes, and just be with your mind. No resistance, no fear, just openness, curiosity, and acceptance to the thoughts that arise.