I haven't been very good about blogging these days. It's been difficult to hunker down and discipline myself to do a number of things I have stirring in my mind on a pretty consistent basis. Not so much to-do lists, but more like goals I've set for myself, projects I've half started, and books half way read that I would like to finish.
This past month I took another class at the Shambhala Buddhist center called Joy in Everyday Life. The most amazing thing I learned from the class is that compassion means having the willingness and courage to feel your own pain. I had always thought of compassion as something you feel for others when they are suffering or struggling, but had not quite made the connection that compassion was also about how much acceptance and love you practice towards your own pain and suffering.
For some reason, hearing this was a total game changer for me. I somehow felt more ease and bravery to feel what I feel even when it feels uncomfortable or unpleasant. My perception of my pain softened and so did my heart. With this softening, I noticed my inner voice being more kind and loving towards me. The way I talk to myself seems to come from a place of love rather than from fear. Less words of judgement, more words of comfort. I have become an observer of my inner voice and mindfully choose what to believe and what to gently push away.
In the last few years of working as a psychotherapist, I have to say that one of the most astounding realizations I've had is how hard people are on themselves. It almost seems like the root of most people's suffering comes from their own minds because of what they say to themselves, how they say it, and how much they believe these things to be true- even when they aren't.
I have become even more curious about the mind since discovering this commonality among humans no matter what their age, culture or upbringing. People give so much of their power away to their thoughts simply because they don't know that the spinning record in their mind doesn't always have to be playing nor does it have to be listened to, that the music can be changed, and that they are in charge of whether or not the needle stays on or comes off.
Lately, I have been referring to the mind's spinning record as our inner voice that plays a tune created by either our inner critic or our inner compassion. One is harsh, self-loathing, insecure, and negative. The other is gentle, self-loving, confident, and positive. The needle on the record is our awareness, our focused attention.
The questions to ask yourself might be, where and how do I place my awareness? What does the needle on my record focus on? What kind of records does my mind play the most, inner critic or inner compassion? Do the lyrics in my head make me feel good about myself or do they make me my own worst enemy? Is what I say to myself coming from love or fear?
What I know to be true in my own life is that yoga and meditation have been my saving graces. These are practices that actually help me to silence the spinning record in my mind and love myself more. They help me grow my awareness into something that feels more expansive and yet craves the simplicity of silence, stillness, spaciousness, and self-compassion. If I go weeks without practicing yoga or meditation, I just don't feel right. I don't feel my best. I begin feeling like I have to chase calm and peace rather than allowing for this state of being to just rest over me like a blanket that warms my mind, body, and spirit tenderly.
I felt encouraged to write today by my yoga teacher who said something that beautifully describes what an amazing yoga practice can do for the spinning record. She said, “Get fascinated with the rhythms of a subtle mind.” Doesn't that sound wonderful? Your thoughts don't have to be harsh and loud! They can be soft and subtle instead. Yoga is a sure way to take the needle off the record, shift your awareness, and begin learning how to play records in your mind that inspire your inner compassion more often.
One last thing to share on how yoga and meditation can improve your existence and chill out your mind:
During the Joy in Everyday Life class, we were assigned to read a chapter called Letting the Love Flow from a book called Ruling Your World. Some of my favorite lines read:
“Stabilizing our mind anytime of the day or night is like taking a mineral bath. It dissolves our stress and revitalizes us. As we anchor the mind to the breath, we feel grounded, strong, and clear. Our hassles slide away because we are connecting with a deeper stream of energy. Is this peace the ultimate happiness? No, it's just the first stage of joy. To bring about the next level of joy, we contemplate the happiness of others.