Brain Health

During my time as an LPC intern, I learned a lot of new information on the body in relation to our emotions, the brain, how to be an effective therapist, and different therapeutic tools to use with clients.

One of the most fascinating things I took from all of the information was on the amazingness of what is called neuroplasticity, which is the capacity for creating new neural connections and growing new neurons in response to experiences that reshape our brain. What this means is that neuroplasticity is the power of the brain to change, to grow new connections that reestablish old mental functions, and to heal.

Our brain is directly shaped by our relationships and our interactions with the world. This is why our life experiences can either be pleasingly memorable or painfully impactful. Neuroplasticity allows for the neurons in our brain to fire together and rewire so that we can become unstuck from our painful past. Who doesn't want that?

Please note that whenever you engage in any of these 4 activities, you will automatically be improving the health of your brain:

1. Focused Attention- when you are using careful focus of attention.
2. Aerobic exercise- the act of repetition and movement.
3. Novelty- trying something new or unfamiliar.
4. Emotional arousal- when you experience good feelings or an emotional connection.

When I discovered that neuroplasticity could occur throughout the life span, I felt hopeful for humanity and our healing. It was encouraging to know that no matter how painful or traumatic an experience may have been for us, we have the ability to recover and learn new ways of perceiving, feeling, thinking, responding, and behaving.

This discovery is one of the reasons I feel so passionate about practicing mindfulness and sharing its benefits with others. If we break down the 4 activities above into more simpler terms, they would go something like this:

1. When you give attention to things, try to pause and really engage with your eyes, ears, and your heart. Remember that your breath is always available to help you focus when you need to.
2. Move as much as possible. Shake off that nervous energy, those repressed emotions, and connect with your body, otherwise known as your temple.
3. Try one new thing each day. This can be as simple as trying a new food, going home on a different route, or using a shampoo you have never used before. Anytime, you are open to doing something you have never done before or making any kind of change (even if subtle)...this is novelty.
4. Show love to people around you, express how you feel, give long and meaningful hugs to those you care about, make an effort to be more affectionate with your body, your thoughts, and your words.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

~ Leo Buscaglia – 1924-1998, Author and Speaker

The 7 Wonders of the World

One of my favorite aunts who lives in Colombia likes to send me videos through Whats App. Recently, she sent me a video of a man from Spain who was describing a scenario that took place inside of a 3rd grade classroom.

During the week, the teacher had been discussing the 7 wonders of the world. The students had seen pictures, identified the countries where they existed, and talked about what made each of these places such a wonder.

Towards the end of the week, the teacher wanted to assess what the students had learned and retained from the weeks discussion so she asked them to list the 7 wonders they could remember on a piece of paper. After a certain amount of time, all of the students had written something down except for one girl who seemed to be thinking and still working on writing down her answers. The teacher noticed the girl and asked her if she needed more time. A few seconds later, the girl wrote one more thing on her paper and smiled while she replied to her teacher that she was finished. Intrigued, the teacher asked the girl if she would like to share with the class what she had written. The girl said yes and began listing them off one by one.

She said, “the 7 wonders of the world are that we can see, hear, taste, touch, smell, laugh, and love.

When I finished watching this video, I felt a warmth in my heart and smile on my face. This is exactly what mindfulness is all about. It's about noticing all of the things that we so easily take for granted, but that are actually the things that make us alive and human.

When we connect with these 7 wonders, we are reminded of how amazing it is that we have the ability to:

• see such beauty all around us in people, nature, and in man-made creations

• hear songs and melodies that move us

• taste the deliciousness of all the foods we have to choose from that are so readily available

• touch things and people that comfort and soothe us

• smell different aromas that the earth provides that calm and excite us

The ability to laugh and love are the added bonuses to being human. We can choose to engage in these two wonders as often or as seldom as we want to. Since most everyone I know loves to laugh and loves to feel loved then doesn't it make sense for us to go ahead and include these with our other 5 senses?

Anytime you are feeling down and out, bored, anxious, numb, or disconnected from others, take out a piece of paper, write down these 7 wonders of the world and make a list of how you can engage with each of them. Then afterwards, notice how you feel. Chances are you might just feel more wonderful.

Here is my list:

see: photography exhibits and stare at glorious trees in Portland parks

hear: music I like and people's voices when they speak to me

taste: juicy berries I eat in the morning with yogurt and honey and everything else I mindfully eat

touch: soft blanket on my couch when I'm relaxing and massage my scalp in the shower

smell: mint mate tea I drink in the morning and the ginger citrus soap bar I'm using right now to wash my body

laugh: watch Master of None (funny netflix show that my new friend just introduced me to)

love: write thank you and miss you letters to friends and family

End of the year blessings, Beginning of the year discoveries

Wow...what a whirlwind life has been for me in the last few months. The year 2015 turned out to be anything but dull, and mostly a year of much change and more continued growth. It's astonishing how things unfold in a way that so often in the moment has you gripping on tightly with feelings of worry and anticipation of what is next, only to later on reflect back on the entire experience with a sigh of relief and understanding of the WHY it all happened.

I would have to say that 2015 was definitely a year of more intensified rooting and connecting in order for me to figure out my path and experience a deeper sense of grounding. The good news is that my mindfulness practices helped me along the way to get clear, stay focused, and remain calm breath by breath as I cultivated even more awareness of what I want, who I am, what is important to me, and where I want to be. Living like a gypsy for the last half of the year was a process that involved me uprooting in order for me to know where I wanted to ground down to grow stronger roots.

Gypsy living, let's just say...it ain't no place for the weary kind like Ryan Bingham sings in his song. Ironically I was blessed to have been invited to see and hear him on Halloween of 2015. Through the experience of living like a gypsy with no place to call my home, the Buddhist teaching on impermanence became a comforting reality for me as I reminded myself daily that this lifestyle would not be for forever.   A few of the lyrics in Bingham's song read:

And this ain't no place for the weary kind
This ain't no place to lose your mind
This ain't no place to fall behind
Pick up your crazy heart and give it one more try

After having finally finished all the hours I needed to get licensed (which I was able to do in two years like I had planned), I ventured out to Hawaii to see about this place called Maui which everyone who knows me, knows that this place is nearest and dearest to my heart. It's a spectacularly beautiful place where healing happens and mindful living comes naturally. I went to Maui to just be. To unwind. To set my spirit free from all the stories I had been told by people who needed to share them in order to feel again, to heal, and understand how to manage their pain by no longer suppressing it. Maui was good to me. It gave me what I needed to mindfully nourish myself through the sights and sounds of ocean, sun, sky, sea creatures, waterfalls, and glorious trees.

Upon returning from Maui, I experienced more of life with what felt like a hard wooden paddle and I'm not talking about the kind of paddle you would use for outdoor pleasure activities. No, this was the kind of paddle that really hurts when you get hit with it. A painful dose of reality after having been living in paradise, but again...I realized that it was a blessing in disguise that pushed me towards deeper growth and acceptance of what I truly want and how resilient I can be.

Life after Maui became an experiment on impermanence as my perception of what it meant was dissected and explored like a science project. Buddhists believe impermanence is an essential mark of existence that expresses the notion that all of conditioned existence, without exception, is temporary, or in a constant state of flux. Living like a gypsy tested my faith in this belief and my capacity to keep moving forward regardless of whether or not I had my life figured out. I was so incredibly fortunate to have been helped by the angels otherwise known as good people that the universe has blessed me with knowing as my friends. Thank God for friends.

During this time, I lived minimally with what I needed in order to be comfortable and amazingly enough, I felt very at home in the places where I stayed. I went from house sitting, to cat sitting, to kid sitting, to more cat sitting, and back to house sitting as I steadily searched to figure out my work situation and life as a newly licensed LPC. It's amazing how hard you work to get these 3 letters after your name only to discover that once you get the letters, there is no actual guarantee that things will be any different, much less easier.

After a few months of job searching in Austin with very few doors opening up, I stumbled upon a wide open door offering the best of all opportunities presented and it just so happened to be an opportunity attached with a big change, something that I had been longing for from as far back as 2011. In early December 2015, after 10 days of much contemplation, I decided that I would be moving to Portland, Oregon to see about this opportunity, to meet new people, and to admire more glorious trees. As an outdoor enthusiast, I am certain that despite the potential downpours, I will bask in something other than the sun and this will be greenery.

The 3 day road trip with my brother was a very unexpected and pleasant surprise that turned out to be one of 2015's most special blessings. His genuine kind heart and calm nature carried me through to the very end of 2015's roller coaster ride of highs and lows, achievements, uncertainty, growth, and big decisions leading me into the new year. Portland greeted me with a snowy day which happens as rarely as once or twice a year. So far the city has been good to me. After the snow and ice melted away, the sun came out in short snippets for a whole week straight. I have met some very nice people both in and outside of work who I think will turn out to be the angels I was meant to meet and call my friends in the Pacific Northwest.

I feel so happy to have a home again where my gypsy spirit can now rest.

The blessings I am grateful for from 2015 are:

- growing stonger connection with friends and family

- learning to set personal boundaries in relationships

- knowing when to walk away

- being true to myself

- practicing self love and actually feeling it

- gaining a deeper understanding of what it means to live by faith

- trusting myself and others more

- becoming a more positive thinker and person (always a work in progress)

- accepting things as they are and striving to be present in each moment

- having a courageous spirit to take risks and flow with change

The discoveries I've made in 2016 are:

- that moving to another state isn't as scary as it sounds

- people in Portland are very nice and personable

- the radio stations in Portland rock

- that the sun actually does come out here from time to time

- rain doesn't have to stop you from being outside and doing things

- driving in the rain makes you a more cautious and mindful driver

- working in a group practice with other therapists is a breath of fresh air because we are birds of a feather supporting one another

- each passing year of life is another opportunity for growth and understanding

Dear Yoga

Dear Yoga,

Whenever I go long periods without practicing you, I start to feel different in my body, mind, and spirit. It's as though I don't feel much like myself at all.

The first thing I begin to notice is that my body feels more tense and achy. Knots of stress and muscle tension form, hardening my outer shell and causing it to lose its elasticity. I feel less springy and buoyant; more inactive and heavy.

My mind seems to feel more scattered as it becomes quite difficult for me to stay focused on one particular task and not at all centered within my own self. Usually my mind will go to places I prefer not to spend too much time in because the inner dialogue that takes precedence is the one that is less positive and more critical.

Not practicing you regularly also makes me feel low-spirited. I get down on myself, my passion for life slowly begins to fade, and my creativity is stunted as my stream of imagination and ideas become blocked.

As soon as I get back to practicing you, I feel an immediate shift in all parts of my being. The flow of breath and movement ignite an inner fire within me as I feel sweat coming out through my pores, running down my face and neck, and softening my body once again. I feel spacious and strong at the same time. I feel stable and secure.

While I practice you yoga, I hear words that resonate with me. These thoughts spoken by someone else often inspire me to think and feel in new ways. Sometimes I'll experience a shift in perspective of the world, of how I view myself, and others over and over. This makes me feel more alive and aware of all that is.

One of the reasons I love to practice you most yoga is because you build up my confidence and open my heart. You make me feel good about who I am and what I am capable of. You make me feel and there is nothing more human than to feel. When I am challenged to shape my body and self into a certain pose, I feel curious, courageous, calm, and connected. I feel worthy of being.

Thanks to you yoga, I have found a life long practice of feeling grateful for living with this body, mind, and spirit that were gifted to me and for me. For all of these reasons, I will treasure you and practice you as much as I possibly can for the rest of my days on earth.

Sincerely,

Angela (yogi for life)

Gratitude- Happy Give Thanks Day!

The first time I was introduced to the concept of having gratitude was in 2010 when my mom gave me a small book of quotes on Gratitude written by one of my favorite authors named Melody Beattie.

It has taken me years to truly understand the meaning and power of gratitude. The more I practice gratitude, the more I realize its gift of helping to transform my perception and the way things flow in my life.

Gratitude has become a very significant tool that I encourage clients struggling with depression to practice daily. By practice, I mean to identify, feel, show, and express what you are grateful for.

Here is my list of what I am thankful for this year after the top four being good health, family, friends, and a job. I feel grateful for:

• peace of mind

• eyes that can see and focus on all creatures great and small

• ears to listen to people tell me about how they are feeling at their core

• having a body, mind, and spirit that are one in the same working together to keep me alive

• the perfect moments that come my way when least expected

• having the ability to surrender to the unknown and accept uncertainty because I can trust

• the connections i've made in this last year with people, places, and things

• feeling more compassion for myself and for others

• growing more wise each day through awareness and curiosity

• learning that it's all the little things that contribute in my choice to be happy

• believing

• being able to love and be loved

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~Melody Beattie

Ignite Your Fire

When I talk with clients about connecting with their spirit, I refer to the light bulb on the Root&Connect logo because I perceive our spirit to be like a light inside of us that becomes energized and alive when we are most in tune with what ignites our fire, our passion, and our creativity.

Last night I went to a friend's birthday dinner party and 'coincidentally' found myself sitting across the table from another guest who started talking about her interest in holistic health and wellness. Our discussion felt energetic and uplifting as we were engaged in telling our story of how our path towards adopting holistic health practices came about. It was very clear that even just talking to someone else who shared a similar mindset about health ignited our fire in a way that could be felt between us and by those sitting around us who were listening.

If a person tells me that they don't know what they feel passionate about, my first response is to ask the question: What makes you feel more alive? If you take time to self reflect, I think it is possible to discover that there are actually a number of things you do that make you feel more alive. These things can be as simple as eating chocolate, running, swimming, organizing, cooking, riding a bike, singing, dancing or being in nature to just as complex as painting a masterpiece of art, writing a book, giving a speech, creating a new invention or a business idea.

When was the last time you stopped doing your everyday routine to engage in something that turns on the light inside of you and ignites your fire?

Life can be mundane when we don't change things up from time to time. Particularly if day in and day out, we only do what is expected of us or what we need to do for survival. If you are not working in a job that ignites your fire, try to make a conscious effort to do things outside of work that you feel passion for. Connect with your heart and ask, what do I really enjoy doing? Or what do I really love to do? Then take a moment to be silent and still long enough to see if your spirit answers you.

If this doesn't work, then try doing new things that you have always been curious about. Be mindful of when you are doing something new to connect with your body and notice what sensations you feel. If you feel as though a light has been turned on inside you and feel more energized, then you have discovered a new way to ignite your fire!

“I believe that when when people pursue their passions, they are turned on, they have their best ideas, they meet people who inspire them. Passion is your guide to your life.” ~creator of GoPro

Bend or Break

How do you manage to stay calm when things in your life are uncertain, you're unclear of which direction to take or what choice to make?

To be in limbo is to be in an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition. Being in a state of limbo is anything but comfortable and can often times be extremely nerve-racking. It can feel like our sense of self is being rattled and our significance in the world is questionable.

If we define who we are by how secure things are in our lives, by who loves and values us, by what we do for a living, by how much money we make, by what we own or by how others perceive us, we run the risk of basing our self worth on external factors rather than from our internal compass. The relationship we have with our self needs to be solid and unwavering rather than solely dependent on things that are often out of our control.

Life seems to test our ability to bend or break during times of transition, uncertainty or change. As we grow older and wiser, we begin to understand that life is unpredictable and that most of the time we are not in control of what happens. We learn that the only thing we can control is our self and the choices we make. We choose how to manage our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs about our self during times when the roller coaster of life unexpectedly takes deep and scary plunges into the unknown.

What happens to your self worth when things fall apart concerning your relationship, your professional life, your finances or with a goal you set out to achieve that never came to fruition or just flat out failed?

I believe that much of what defines us is how we relate to our own self and more importantly, how we treat others during times when we are living at the top or when we are experiencing our most difficult bottom. When things are uncertain or don't go your way, notice if you allow yourself to get swallowed up by fear and insecurity. When situations in life cause you to feel painful emotions such as disappointment, loss, betrayal, rejection or confusion, it's important to get centered with self and find your inner strength so that you are able to recognize what you are really made of.

It is in these moments that we are stretched to grow, to learn who we are, to see our self as worthy (no matter what), and to discover that we may bend, but we do not break.

Think Less, Feel More

Have you ever wondered what animals think about? When you look into the eyes of your cat or dog, do you wonder if they are thinking about what to do next or what happened to them yesterday?

Chances are, they aren't thinking much at all. Instead they are feeling. They feel when their body needs food, when their body and mind needs rest or when their spirit needs love and affection. Animals are very in tune with their surroundings because they aren't focused on what happened or what is about to happen, they simply focus on what is happening and what they feel.

What if people could learn to live in the world similarly to animals by thinking less and feeling more?

Often times when I am in session with a client, I ask how they feel about a situation they are struggling with. Instead of responding with an actual feeling, they immediately go to thinking which leads them to giving me a cognitive response as opposed to a heartfelt response. I help them to see and understand this more clearly by explaining to them that in order to feel what they are truly feeling, it is necessary to get out of your head and into your body. We are not meant to be walking heads!

Ways to get more into your body so that you can connect with how you feel are:

1. Close your eyes, connect with breath, and then shift your focus to one particular body part. A good place to start might be focusing on your hands or feet and noticing the sensations you feel when you take all of your focus there. Sensations can range from feeling hot or cold, tingly, jittery, heavy or light, etc.. This can be done with any part of your body.

2. Engage in using your five senses by really tuning into what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch. This can be done while you are cooking, eating, bathing, or simply walking around a park. At any point in time, your senses are there to guide you and remind you of all that you are capable of feeling.

3. Take some time to be still and silent and ask yourself, “what am I feeling?” If you are able to sit long enough in silence, your feelings will surface and you will become aware of what it is you feel. The trick is to not be afraid of whatever emotion arises.

4. Yoga and meditation

Before snapping this photo of the goat, I stood and stared at him for a while. I was trying to feel what he was feeling. Was he feeling the wind against his face that swayed his long goatee from side to side? Was he feeling his full stomach from having eaten grass all day? Was he feeling content to be around his goat friends and family? Or was he feeling my energy as I locked eyes with him?

The best part of being human is that we have the ability to both think AND feel. For some reason, thinking has become way too overrated in our society. We believe that thinking is what leads to being productive, being productive is what leads us to more success, and we 'think' success leads to more happiness. Animals don't seem to care much about success and the truth is...they seem pretty darn happy. Perhaps we should try to live more like our four legged friends by thinking less and feeling more.

Breath is Life

During one of my last days in Maui, I went to Makena beach because I knew I would be able to snorkel there even though it wasn't early in the morning when the ocean visibility is better and the fish are significantly more active.

Once under water and closer to the reef, I swam around determined to see something. There was a spot where the current felt really strong. The wind was blowing across the ocean's surface causing the ocean floor to stir up sand and other particles. Despite the cloudy water, I continued to breathe through my snorkel with eyes wide open to what I might find if I was patient enough.

To my surprise, I stumbled upon a starfish that was swaying back and forth with each big wave. I couldn't tell if the starfish was dead or alive and before giving it a second thought, I reached out to grab it. I had never held a starfish in my hand before and didn't know what would happen if in fact it was alive. I rushed out of the water and placed it on a wet rock. I watched closely as it began to take a different shape and attach itself to the rock. Then I noticed that it was covered with what looked like miniature tubes that were sticking out and moving all around. I thought to myself, this starfish is living and breathing!

It was fascinating to observe what I now know to be called tube feet or papulae, which are little sacs all over the upper surface of the body that allow for oxygen to enter. This is how starfish breathe! These beautiful creatures have such a spectacular way of breathing that when you are up close and personal, the simple act of breath becomes completely mesmerizing. This led me to think about how all living things on this earth have to breathe in one way or another.

I often wonder how it is that we humans got to be so busy that we often forget how important it is to just breathe. In my work, I normally start out each session by asking clients if they are ready to go inward. At that moment, we close our eyes, we connect with breath, we begin taking deep breaths in and out as a reminder that we are now here, we are alive, and we are taking time to root and connect.

Finding the starfish on one my last days in paradise was a marvelous gift and reminder that breath is life. Think about it...without breath, there is no life.

Waves

Lately, I have spent a lot of time at the beach. I like to think of the sun and the ocean as my saving grace. Some of the best moments here on Maui have been when I look at the waves, play in the waves, and listen to the waves. There is something so calming and soothing about being on the edge of earth and so close to water. It's hard to imagine what life would be like without this liquid force that does so much to help keep us alive and well.

Yesterday, I went into a store that had a small wooden sign that read, Ride the Wave. I thought about how common it might be for people here to use this phrase. Ride the Wave can mean so many different things. First there is the obvious, a surfer rides the wave with the surf board. After that the meanings that come to mind have much to do with my analytical counselor brain.

When I talk with my clients about meditation and how to do it, I ask them to imagine that sitting in meditation is like being one with the ocean. The intial deep breathing can create an oceanic sound that can continue even when the breath becomes more natural and less forced. I explain that their thoughts are like waves that come and go, come and go. The idea is to simply sit still, in silence and give space to their thoughts as they observe them coming and going. I tell them that there is no need to ride any of the waves (the thoughts), there is no need to attach to any one thought. As the observer who is watching the waves, the mind's eye is not particularly focused solely on the waves, but instead is focused on the inhalation and exhalation of the breath or on a chosen mantra.

Another way that I perceive Ride the Wave is in relation to the ebb and flow of life. Good things happen and then not such good things happen. We feel happy and then we feel sad. We feel hopeful and then something happens that triggers us to move in and out of feeling hopeless. We feel confident and then we feel insecure. We feel successful and then we feel defeated. These changes are the waves of life that teach us more about who we are and our ability to sink or swim.

The beauty of the ocean is that it is vast, open, pure, and to us can sometimes seem infinite. The beauty of life is that it allows for us to create that same kind of ocean beauty. The trick is becoming more aware so that we are able to see it that way and to live it that way. All of us have the ability to be expansive, open, pure (uncontaminated or untainted), and never-ending. The waves of life continually open up possibilities for us to discover our passions, to create, to leave a mark when are no longer here, to learn ourselves, to define ourselves, to love ourselves, and to truly feel alive.

Above and Beyond

During a yoga class here in Maui, the teacher said something that caught my attention and rang very true for me. She said, “Be above and beyond your outside circumstances.” What's interesting is that I really needed to hear those words to help me get through a situation that presented itself on the very next day.

These words are easy to hear, but not at all easy to put into practice. When something happens in life that you didn't expect at all, you are blind-sided and after the initial shock, you have one of two choices: How you react and whether or not to Let it Bring You Down or Let it Build You Up.

When you choose to be easily affected by outside circumstances that are out of your control, you are resisting what is, and the battle inside can continue for as long as you allow it to. This gives power to the situation that is disturbing your peace of mind and attempting to weaken your core self (your higher self).

On the flip side, you can begin to view circumstances as things that happen because they are supposed to. They are what is and many times happen for good reason even though we don't see it that way. When you allow yourself to feel what you feel and process for as long as you need, time and space serve as healing agents that help you to shift your perspective on any situation. Instead of becoming a victim, you become an observer. You then make the choice to not be so affected because you become aware that this too shall pass like most things ultimately do.

Once we discover that there is a path that moves us from resistance to acceptance, we are able to be above and beyond our outside circumstances because we have finally come to understand that no matter what happens, the most sturdy and reliable rock we need to hold onto lies within us.

We all nurture and grow our inner rock (the core self or higher self) in different ways. I work to strengthen mine through mindfulness, inspiration, courage, faith, practicing trust (which is a daily challenge), self-compassion (being kind and gentle with myself), yoga, meditation (calming my mind), self-reflection, and prayer.

What makes up your inner rock? How will you strengthen it so you can be above and beyond your outside circumstances when need be?

Emotional pain

When was the last time you really felt emotional pain?

Physical pain is something much different from emotional pain. When you feel emotional pain, when you really allow yourself to feel it, it's as though your body is being sucked of all its energy and life.

Emotional pain rips through layers and seems to end up eating at your core. Most often we feel emotional pain in the center of our chest close to our heart or at the pit of our stomach (the gut) which happens to be our second brain.

Most often it takes something completely unexpected, confusing, and impactful to trigger our emotional pain. Something someone said, something someone did or didn't do, a bad choice or a vindictive act. From my own real life experience and in working with others who have suffered emotional pain, the feelings that cause the most pain are rejection, betrayal, deception, loss, disappointment, disallusionment, confusion, and ridicule.

Our emotional pain precedes physical pain. The less we chose to feel our emotions,  especially the ones we struggle with, fear, and reject the most, the more our physical pain is inflamed. Traumatic events and situations can cause us to feel such raw emotional pain, that we are left with nothing more than sprit to help guide us out of the downward sprial of confusion, hurt, and suffering.

Feeling hurt is part of life. Hurt can sometimes be the best antidote for being able to see things more clearly (with a new lens) and suddenly our perspective shifts and changes. What we thought to believe as real, wasn't ever real at all. Who we thought we knew well, turned out to be someone completely different. Where we felt our life was headed, was never actually part of the plan.

Raw emotional pain helps us to remember that we are alive in the midst of a circumstance that feels like death. How we come out of these moments of emotional pain and resuscitate teaches us more about ourselves than we can ever imagine. In times where emotional pain is cutting like a knife or scraping up our insides and leaving us concave, we can come back to our source of life with self-compassion:

Step 1: connect with your breath by taking deep inhales and exhales

Step 2: put one hand on your heart, the other on your belly and transmit love to your own self

Step 3: envision something that brings you peace and calm

Step 4: tell yourself over and over, “Everything is going to be okay”

You have the strength to feel your emotional pain, the power to heal it, and the wisdom to understand that true substance comes from suffering. This is called awakening.

Mindful Living in Maui

Maui greeted me just I had imagined it would. A very hot, sunny day with land and sea complimenting one another in such a way to create this magnificently beautiful island where I feel so at home. A big reason why I enjoy island life so much is because everything slooows down. You immediately feel a different kind of energy here that forces you to take more pauses and pay attention (even admire) all that is around you.

I've decided that my time in Maui is the perfect opportunity to practice mindful living by focusing on the simple things that make this place feel so peaceful and magical.

Each new day, each moment invites us to Stop, Look, Take In (notice what you feel), and Repeat. This is living mindfully.

Believe and You Will Receive

The latter part of 2014 brought about some trials and tribulations that I wasn't expecting. From the experiences I was forced to endure, I learned yet again that life happens, things rarely go the way we planned them to, and that true character is defined by how you deal with what comes your way and how you pick yourself back up.

My father came to spend the last few days of 2014 with me and we celebrated Christmas together. He is a very religious man who lives by faith. As long as I can remember, he has suggested that I do two things to help me get through this life: pray and meditate. His December visit influenced me to turn to something higher than myself for the reassurance and peace that I was so desperately seeking. For me, this force of energy that I so strongly believe in is called God.

I started out 2015 with a different mindset. Now, I was beginning to understand that I did not have to go through the trials and tribulations alone because I believe that there is something greater that is here to assist us whenever we need it to. Rather than feed the pain, I choose to feed the breath (the moment to moment of what is).

When we believe that something will happen, we begin to manifest it. Even better, when we expect for something to happen, we are setting energy in motion to make our desire come to fruition. The trick to believing is allowing yourself to connect and feel your heart's desire, to envision the desire, and to truly feel as though what you want, already exists.

To believe is to trust and once there is absolute trust, you are able to let go and live by faith. The power of the soul (heart) and mind can either serve you or hurt you. When you find it difficult to believe, notice if what you are feeding into is your pain caused by fear, insecurity, or doubt. Observe what begins to happen in your life once you are able to loosen the reins of those discomforting emotions and just believe.

From my own personal experience, I can say that the more I believe, the more I receive and things just happen because I trust that they will. A good friend of mine once said something very wise. She said, “even when things aren't going my way, I realize that they ARE going my way.” This is what I call living by faith.

In the picture below is my new bicycle that I desired and envisioned long before coming to Maui. I believed that once here, I would be able to find a bike for a low price to help me get around. The day I arrived, my friend said his roommate was selling his bike with flat tires for $50. I took it to the bike shop for a tune up and ended up spending $125 total. The guy at the bike shop said the bike was worth $500 originally and that if I wanted to sell it, I could get $250 to 300 for it. This is just a silly, yet simple example of how when you believe, you WILL receive.

Yogalchemy...Keeping Yoga Weird and Healing from the Inside Out

Dear Root&Connect Readers,

This is by far my longest blog post and first interview that I am dedicating to one of the best yoga teachers I have practiced with in Austin, TX thus far. Meet Erika Kluthe, otherwise known as the woman who is Keeping Yoga Weird in Austin with her uniquely heart-filled style of yoga called Yogalchemy. She is one of a kind and her mission is to create a sensory and emotional experience that will change you from the inside out. Her yoga class taps into my inner bliss and leaves me feeling the 9 C's: calm, curious, courageous, clarity, creative, confident, centered, connected, and compassion.  I share this with you in hopes to awaken your curiosity to expereince the 9 C's for yourself as well.

What Erika calls Yogalchemy, I think of as mindfulness yoga which uses the body, the breath, and the five senses to move you, soothe you, and heal you.

To see for yourself what a class with Erika might be like, visit her at Sukha, Dharma or Practice Yoga.

What inspired you to become a Yogi?

I was a lone, long-distance runner from about age 15-30 or so. It was my head,heart, and body medicine until one day,  it stopped working. I was desperate for some mental and emotional relief from the overwhelming, acute, long-term pain I was experiencing (the cause(s): a story of its own for another day). The regular practice of yoga helped pull me out of tremendous depths of pain when nothing else was working.

A ha Yoga moment...

I had just moved to Austin from the Hill Country which was home for two years, and prior to that, South Florida. When I moved to Austin, I was recovering from a string of very difficult and painful years, and I was at what felt like my most painful point (I felt like I was cloaked in a suffocating darkness for 9 months straight).  A dear friend invited me to a yoga studio and so I went begrudgingly. One yoga class and suddenly a little crack happened, it was like light and air came in. Nothing else had worked. I needed relief badly so I went back the next day. I've struggled for years with anxiety and depression. I was in the worst space of my life and running was no longer helping in the same way. I no longer felt emotional release from running, but instead it came from practicing yoga. I told my friend, “I'm going to do this everyday. I'm fully in.” My word meant very little at that time so my friend just said “Ok Erika.”

The teachers were positive and heart-filled. I just needed to feel safe. The yoga studio became the only place that felt safe in the entire city. The teachers would ask how my day was going. They would help me correct my poses by making adjustments which was the only time in what seemed like a while, I felt warmed by the human touch. I was so badly in need of the healing touch that yoga provided. Each day I would set my mat in the far corner of the room (for what turned into a couple of years) of me bald-headed, bloated, angry, and very sad as I cried my way back in to life through the practice of yoga.

I believe that yoga is a powerful medicine. It has the potential to be a modern day shamanism in the west. We are healing, and in doing so we are elevating the collective consciousness.

When I came across the advertisement for a teacher training whose completion date was on the day of my 33rd birthday, I saw that as a sign and decided to apply. At 28, a particularly helpful therapist got me out of one my most difficult spots. She said, "If you continue to live this way you will die by age 33, Erika." I thought, wouldn't that be an awesome celebration of renewed life to graduate as a yoga teacher on this particular birthday.
 

The path to Yogalchemy...

I wanted to offer a full sensory experience as my personal offering. Ana Forest created her own style of yoga called Forest yoga. It's her own personal offering and in reading her biography, I discovered I needed to create, from within, one that speaks to my own truth.

My desire is for people to have an experience. Like going to a movie. I think that one reason people like going to the movies is because they are transported into a different experience. You emerge into a space where you are able to laugh, cry, habitual thinking is shut off to rest, and we get out of this linear, rational screaming brain. I thought, let's give people another option for an experience that they can be a part of where they're moving, as though now they can be the character in the movie, and involved in the sensory and emotional experience that's personal. An experience that is their story and true to their heart.

Yogalchemy is primal. Indigenous cultures do this stuff and we've moved away from it. There's a deep wisdom in these actions that I think we are moving back to. I called it a heart based decision when I decided to do the teacher training and close to my heart was the information I learned about the chakras so I decided I would teach myself more about it in order to teach it. The chakras gave me a starting point from which to build.

During a fall semester in graduate school, many years back, I read a book called Dime Store Alchemy and that Halloween I dressed up as a wild poet alchemist. I carried a long kitchen spoon as a stand-in wand (so as to turn people’s dross into gold, of course, ahem). Fast forward to just a few months ago after teaching a class,  a fellow yogi approached me to say that she had really enjoyed the whole experience because of how it incorporated the use of all the senses during the practice. She called it Mindfulness Yoga and then referred to me as a Yoga Magician. I replied to her, “No, I’m a Yoga Alchemist!”

I desire to bring ceremony (the sacred) into a modern context and normalize it. I say let’s normalize because really it’s all in service to healing and expansion. I want people to know that there is an energy in all things, and that that energy is a loving one. Among many of the texts I consult regularly is Eastern body, Western Mind by Anodea Judith which has been an important guide for me. I research, study, and explore a broad spectrum of resources from acclaimed neuroscientists and anthropologists to Shamans, other spiritual healers, and world-renowned spiritual teachers.

What makes up Yogalchemy and its Sensory Experience...

Chakras- Each chakra has given characteristics. A color, a location in the body, a natural element associated with it, and psychological and informational vortex of energy. I collect knowledge and meditate regularly. When I drop into meditative states of consciousness, I feel divinely inspired and begin to visualize how the yoga class is going to come together from start to finish. Since I've learned to quiet my mind, it feels as though stones (ideas) are laid out to guide me. It used to take me hours and I would exhaust myself trying to create these classes. Now meditation, along with a fuller body of knowledge, allows me to intuitively create the layout of the class with tremendous ease and joy.

Combining the chakras with poems- I look for a poem that speaks to the chakra. I choose poetry that is largely sensory-driven. Poetry that attempts to encourage in the reader an ecstatic state. My poems have colorful, gooey, scratching words to create an auditory experience that the reader could run their hands through in an attempt to create a sensory mosaic of sorts. In a way I feel as if this is now what I am attempting to achieve in my yoga classes through the use of different mediums.

See- the colored candles are set up for people to have a center of focus, blind folding that encourages pratyahara- withdraw of the external senses to encourage an inward inquiry, dharana- single pointed focus with eyes closed to still the mind with visualizations.

Hear- vissudha is the throat chakra, the color associated with this energetic center is light bright blue and the natural element to which it is associated is sound waves. Music used- digeridoo, shamanic rhythmic drumming, Tibetan singing bowl music. The sound waves are vibrating at the same frequency so they connect and match with the body's energetic wave length creating an energetic effect in a specific part of the body. Affirmations repeated such as “I am safe” and “I have everything I need.”

Taste- bringing food to taste after the class- mint, red apples, oranges, sparkling water. The poetry also helps to create this sensory experience.

Touch- the practice of placing hands on people to offer an intuitive, loving touch. The cool river stones that have a specific color of a chakra. I encourage for stones to be held or put on a specific chakra to draw awareness to that part of the body. Shakti mat- a modern day bed of nails for people to step on. Washing of hands in epsom salt and sage to energetically cleanse.

Smell- Essential oils sprays, rubbing and smelling soil, salt or beach sand to ingnite the sense of touch and smell to experience an energetic transfer.

I suggest an off the mat yoga assignment each week to help people continue the yoga practice in daily life. Alchemy is the precursor of chemistry. It's a science of transformation. Yogalchemy is personal transformation from the inside out. I want to share with people tools of how to take in the energy and information through the use of the 5 senses to balance their energetic body (most specifically the 7 main chakras), to still the mind, and regulate the central nervous system in order to return to a natural, essential state of well-being, joy, and bliss.

I believe that despite external conditions, we can feel this way (as good as we want to feel) all of the time. We simply have to train and practice remembering who we are at our essence. Yogalchemy is the practice of releasing all resistant energy. Resistant energy is anything that detracts us from our natural state. Our natural state is one of feeling whole, joyful, blissful, and calm. To be human is a miracle. We can feel bliss naturally when we discover that we, at our essence are bliss.

More on Energy and Why it IS Everything...

Very simply put, everything is made up of energy. Energy is in the form of waves (think of a whip snapping, or ocean waves rolling). Energy collects in different patterns or forms of varying densities (fine like a breeze, or sound, or heavier like water or a human body). When we become quiet and still our minds, we can tune into the subtleties (the lesser dense forms of energy).

Once we become aware (conscious) of these subtler forms, we may also discover that we have the capacity to move, change or alter our own energy (energetic field). One simple way to do this: Where you move your awareness, you move your energy.

Place your full attention or awareness on a negative or painful thought or memory. The emotional sensation that inevitably follows is energy focused in a certain way, at a given point or location (heart, gut, shooting down the arms). Imagine something or someone you love deeply. Or remember a very fond or fun memory. Energy has now shifted and is vibrating at a higher frequency than when the thought was a painful one. Thought is an actual form of energy, slightly less dense than air, sound, and light. Shift your awareness and shift your energy. A simple, and profoundly useful moment to moment practice.

My desire is to expose you, experientially, to various healing/meditative modalities and techniques so that you can find a way that works for you to still your mind, self-soothe, heal, and practice returning to your natural state which is one of unconditional well-being (keywords: practice and unconditional).

When our mind is still, we have released all negative resistance or energy and are able to then align with pure Source energy. We didn’t come here to struggle. We came here to live our Truth. The reality is that we are ever-expanding, on the leading edge of creation, limitless, and can exist in a state of well-being, happiness, joy, even bliss...IF we want it.

Yogalchemy in a Nutshell and Guide on Ways to Practice it...

What Yogalchemy offers is a layered experience; a patchwork quilt of various therapeutic modalities: aromatherapy, Pranayama: breath exercises, sound-therapy, healing touch, guided meditation/visualization, TRE: Trauma Releasing Exercises, EFT: Emotional Freedom Technique, restorative/chakra-opening yoga poses, Kundalini Kriyas, affirmations, mudras, mantras in Sanskrit, etc etc...

Life with Purpose

While packing up for my move, I have been taking some time to sift through memorabilia. Revisiting things from my past brings up all kinds of emotions as I reminisce on the different stages in my life that have brought me to here and now.

Perhaps one of the only good things about moving is that you get the chance to rediscover things you've owned for years that got stashed away and in a sense vanished.

It's interesting to notice what it is that we choose to hold onto. For me, writing has always been one of life's simple pleasures. I can actually remember the first journal I got when I was either 5 or 6 years old. It was a Hello Kitty journal from the mall in Florida where I was living at that time. From a very early age, I relied on writing for refuge, understanding of myself (thoughts and feelings), and healing.

I went on to study Journalism in college with the intention of one day becoming a writer. It took me 15 years to finally build up the courage, confidence, and motivation to start doing something that my spirit has always been yearning for me to get back to.

I share this with you because I believe that discovering what you feel passionate about, what it is that makes you feel alive, is what actually gives you purpose and a reason to live. I feel grateful to have discovered two of the things I love that make me feel most alive, writing and counseling. In my sessions with clients, their first homework assignment is to buy a notebook and begin to journal about various things that come up in session. I tell them that I was once heard someone say that if you write something that is not true, every cell in your body feels it and sends you the message that you are not being truthful with yourself or accepting the truth about your situation. I encourage clients to write so that the therapeutic process can happen in and outside of my office.

When I was a junior in high school, I took a geography class with a man named Dr. Parks. It was definitely one of my favorite classes as I felt he was a really great teacher who felt very passionate about what he taught us. I owe some of my love for writing to him because he inspired me to write about things that mattered.

Each week he assigned us one question on world issues that we needed to answer in one page or less. The questions varied from, "What to do in order to help the homeless problem in America?" to "What I would do to help the worldwide AIDS crisis?" Here are two that I have chosen to share with you today which have to do with two things I feel very passionate about: Life and Education.

I hope you enjoy!

It's the Simple Things

Last Friday, while on my way out to Krause Springs, my next door neighbor texted me out of the blue to say that I needed to move my car from the driveway because they were going to be cutting the big tree next door. Luckily, I had an extra set of keys for her to move my car. When I got home from a relaxing day of swimming in the springs, I was shocked to see that what I thought would be a simple tree trimming, actually turned out to be a tree scarring.

The sight of the tree stump made my heart sink and my neighbor said it best when she said it hit her right in the heart chakra. As I stood there staring at the stump that felt like a scar, memories of the big ol' tree that shaded our driveway for the last 5 years came to mind and I couldn't help but feel sad that I hadn't ever taken a picture of the Australian Ash in all those years. The sun was now shining bright on the driveway and on our cars. The last thing my neighbor said was that at least our cars wouldn't always be covered in bird poop. She had a good point. We traded having a shaded, cool car for a now clean looking, steamy hot car to step into on these summer days.

I walked over to the stump to take the picture above and began to think about how having the tree right next door added so much more character to our duplex, making it a more pleasant and peaceful place to come home to each day. Throughout the seasons, the tree provided what we needed to stay mindful of the simple things. In winter, the leaves would all fall. In spring, the leaves would begin to grow again while the squirrels, birds, and cats enjoyed its revival. In summer, it gave us shade to cool down and during the fall, it stood bold as it swayed in the breeze. This tree did more than just stand there, it reminded us of life.

The irony is that in just one week, I will be moving out of this place that I've called home for 5 years because the universe has been whispering for me to make change. Just as I decide to leave, the universe decides it's time for the tree to go as well. Every time I think of packing up and leaving, I feel nostalgic because of the many memories I've made while living here.

Since moving here in 2010, the changes I have experienced internally have been transformational. I owe a lot of my healing and growth to the environment that this place has offered. Living next to Blunn Creek nature preserve, the jogs/walks past Saint Edwards University's beautiful campus, the hill that fills up with bluebonnets and wildflowers in the spring, the 90 year old man named Orville that I stop to visit with during my jogs who calls me Angel, my neighbor Linda who has been a wise and loving mentor for me, the fat cat named Sasha who stole my heart last summer during her brief stay in the hood, and the boys next door, Richard and Justin, who helped me to feel more safe knowing that they were just a stones throw away in case I ever got scared.

I share these personal details of my life because these are the common things that I have tried to feel gratitude for each day. For me, this is what life is about. When you appreciate the simple things, you begin to discover that happiness is and always was there, even when you were too distracted to notice and feel it. Staying mindful of the simple things that bring you joy makes it a life worth living.

What are the simple things in your world that help you to feel more connected and fulfilled?

The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things.

~Henry Ward Beecher - 1813-1887, Clergyman, Social Reformer, and Speaker

Just BE

Summertime for me has always felt like things just naturally seem to slow down. When I was a school counselor, the major plus of the job was having paid summers, time off, and the opportunity to travel to the places on my bucketlist.

Since leaving the school district in June of last year and starting to work as a counselor on my own to grow my practice, I have had to sacrifice two of the luxuries I appreciate most: taking adventures to explore new places during the summer and the extra time to do nothing.

One of my counselor colleagues once said something that stuck with me and reminded me of what it means to be a human being. She said, “Don't just do something, Sit there.” Most people particularly in the Western hemisphere, believe that if we are not doing something all of the time, then we are wasting time because we are not being productive.

During initial sessions with clients where we do mindfulness exercises to help them calm their racing thoughts and strengthen their focused attention, I discover that many of them are not able to do so because they cannot stop thinking about their to do lists or their agendas. This causes me to think about when and how our society got to this point of believing that if you are not doing, then you are nothing and more importantly, you are nobody.

As a high energy person, I recognize firsthand how difficult it can be to sit still in slience and do nothing. For this reason, I feel that meditation is a saving grace because even though you are just sitting still in silence, it is called a practice which actually makes it sound like something we are doing rather than what is actually happening which is the simple act of just being.

What if we were to call meditation Being instead? Even if you aren't a meditator or you've never tried meditation, you know how to just be because you know how to sit still and be silent (even if your inner voice is still talking to you). Today, I woke up and received the insight of the day written below which was what inspired me to write about why I think it's important to try Being just as often as we engage in Doing.

In my opinion, who you are is not necessarily determined by what you do; who you are is who you choose to be each and every day and the beauty in this is that it can change from moment to moment. You can be grateful or resentful. You can be honest or deceitful. You can be authentic or ungenuine. You can be present or disconnected. You can be joy or sadness. You can be love or fear. The awareness of ourselves and who we are happens when we are doing, but even more so when were are just Being.

In our need to be somebody, we often forget that we are somebody.

- Eric Micha’el Leventhal - Author

Love

This past weekend I went back to the city I grew up in to spend quality time with my family. Some family members no longer live in Texas so the days that we get to spend all together are few and far between.

It isn't always easy for families to get together and when they do it can be even less easy for everyone to get along. I think this is something that most people know as part of what comes along with having a mother, father, sisters, and brothers each with their own style, personality, way of thinking, and ways of acting.

One thing that seems to be common among most families is that no matter how extreme the feuds may be, there is an understanding that the people in our family feel love for us.

The manner in which love is shown by others can vary from being outwardly affectionate, helpful, considerate, communicative, and generous to simply saying the words “I love you” and believing that as long as we say these words out loud, that others will feel it.

In this year, I have learned that love has 3 ingredients- openness, curiosity, and acceptance. I interpret these ingredients in this way:

• Openness is when you are able to open your heart and let others in. It's allowing for others to get to know you at a deeper level. This means expressing your thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, along with your fears, disappointments, and failures.

• Curiosity is when you care enough to want to know more about someone else. You ask questions to get to know them better. You find out what makes them tick or what ticks them off and why. You are curious about their actions or inactions. The idea is to be curious because you care.

• Acceptance is when you decide that there is no longer a need for judgement or placing blame on others. You understand that each person is different because of background, upbringing, experiences, and perspective. Acceptance is when you are able to see someone for who they really are, try to understand why they are that way, and choose to accept them unconditionally.

What is most eye opening for me about the 3 ingredients is learning that they apply to loving yourself just as much as they apply to loving others. For instance, if you are going through a difficult experience in life and you stay open to why it's happening, get curious about your emotions, and practice self acceptance, it's possible you will feel more self-love in the process.

Love isn't just a feeling. Love is a choice and a commitment that involves action.The 3 ingredients require vulnerability, effort, and letting be. The next time you are with someone you love, think about whether or not you are practicing the 3 ingredients before you say the 3 words that make a person's heart melt, soften, and feel alive.

The Whole You

To be whole is to be complete and not lacking or leaving out any part. If someone were to ask you what makes you whole, what would you say? Would you answer something like:

• my partner makes me whole

• my career/business makes me whole

• my family or my children make me whole

• my friends  or my belongings make me whole

In reality, as much as we need others in our lives to feel happy and as much as we may need our work to give us a purpose to strive for each day, these are not the things that make us whole.

A whole person can be described as someone made of mind, body, and spirit. Another way to view being whole is to acknowledge that we are all made up of our experiences, our thoughts, our feelings, our bodily sensations, and our behaviors.

This topic of being whole comes up a lot in group due to many people who are suffering because of a failed relationship that at one point or another became unhealthy or dysfunctional. Often times, dysfunction (also known as malfunction) occurs when one person in a relationship starts to become completely dependent on the other to meet his/her needs. Particularly the emotional needs. For instance, “I cannot feel secure with myself unless you love me” or “If you do not accept me, then I am nothing or I am completely worthless”.

This is a pattern that begins to affect both people in the relationship because now one person's feelings, thoughts, and behaviors are based solely on the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors of someone else outside the Self. People become enmeshed with one another when their personal boundaries are unclear or when they have not yet discovered that their sense of wholeness depends on the relationship they have with their own self, not with anyone or anything.

Relationships are tricky. Becoming entangled with someone we care about and love to be around is one of the hardest traps to avoid falling into. Unfortunately, this enmeshment is what often begins to create the cycle of unhealthy beliefs, conflicts, and patterns that destroy the relationship and leave people feeling incomplete. Most people feel a sense of lacking which they think will go away as long as they have someone or something that will make them feel whole.

If the Whole you is made up of mind, body, spirit, and emotions, what are you doing to nurture these parts of yourself?

Regardless of whether or not you have someone else to depend on who adds to your daily fulfillment, remember that you are already whole just the way you are. Learn to love and nurture yourself so that your own health and happiness in life is mostly dependent on the one thing you can always count on no matter what, the Whole You.